Monday, July 10, 2017

Being Cold in Your Time of Need

Slowly sinking down, lower and lower. The stress builds up and the emotion runs high. Perhaps being more social than social media is what matters right now. If you notice that your other half or partner in life is going through a tough time, take a moment to leave a nice comment or heart a photo that they share. You see, sometimes the people who are suffering the most internally are sharing selfies or positive posts as a means to find a way to pull back together. In times of high stress and emotion, it’s important to have that confidence boosted, to feel as if you still matter. 

As you watch the person you love be more social to others, uplifting them, leaving funny comments to make others laugh, you have to wonder why they don’t do that for you as well? You post photos and only find those who have supported you for far longer are leaving positive comments. While the attention isn’t necessary unless you are someone who constantly needs attention, during trying times it is best if a partner is aware of that emotional toll it plays on them. 

I see things a bit like this, if your other half is having a hard time and confiding in you about that hard time. Perhaps they told you that their emotional state of mind is suffering, why wouldn’t you, in times when you swear you love them to pieces, pay more attention to their social habits? It seems I have noticed a trend of when I am at my worst, the online interaction is less with me but more with others. Why is this so? I have no idea, but what I do know is that I can get through this because I have always done that myself.

When you find that your other half is more social on social media and compliments others more than you in your time of need? You learn to retract and get back to the place you were before their relationship was a part of your world. Do what you need to do to get back to you, but remember these times when they were more social and friendly with others, while behind closed doors they weren’t so kind to you or empathetic during your time of need. 

Whether watching this person be kind to others in public, at family gatherings or on social media we must admit this hurts. It hurts deep when we are hurting inside and need our other half to support us. What hurts the most is knowing that this person is capable of being kind during your time of need but doesn’t bother doing it. They go out of their way to be social with strangers while you sit here drowning in a time of high sadness and all you want to see is your partner, the person you love so much, be there for you to leave kind comments, to show that they truly do still love and support you. When that doesn’t happen, it makes the pain of sadness hurt even deeper. 

All you can do is work … work on you and always remember how this went down so that you can better determine what’s best for the future – be it a conversation or major change, because this type of scenario isn’t okay!  Always remember how they were emotionally available for others in a way you needed them to be for you …. Because this says a lot about what will or will not work for you in the future! 

Once you have worked to get yourself back, make a decision on how to proceed with handling this hurt and pain that comes from feeling left out in the cold during your time of need. When the outside world sees someone as kind and generous but you see it quite the opposite in your time of need in the personal side of life, it speaks volumes. Learn from this and move forward with whatever is going to be a good fit for your mental health well-being!