Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Reading Energy and Body Language

One thing I am good at is reading the energy of people around me. Not only am I excellent at figuring out a good person versus a bad person, in most cases, but I am great at reading body language. While I could not get better than a C when taking psychology for my business degree, in real life I am a master at reading the signs and people. Being interested in learning people through their energy that they put off, sometimes called an aura and watching their body language isn’t always a good thing. For when you are in love with someone and see the signs, often your emotions will deter you from reality. 

In my current life, there are many signs that something is just not right. Whatever the something is, I have no idea, but I can say that I don’t feel the appreciation and gratitude in ways that I did about eight months ago. In time, all that I have done seems to have gone down the tube and is no longer something that is shown as appreciative and actually something that wasn’t easy. While I don’t need a gold star or praise all of the time to be confident, I do know that signs show things are not what they appear to be. I watch as the body language has changed, the responses are different and the time spent doing things that were promised are no longer. 

I work really hard all day long, trying to make sure I make my quota for daily income and usually I hit it, especially during times when money is tight. I watch as bills that should have been paid, are not being paid but alas, I am one person and I am working my tail off to not only juggle my business but my children and supporting my partner with his new venture. I have found that I continuously support others to a point of being drained myself, I don’t mean this financially but in general. While I will forever support my three children without fault, I don’t ever feel bad about putting them first, for I have a huge maternal instinct. I do, however, get tired of supporting an adult. I had thought, with all of the talk during his time of dire need, that I would ultimately get some sort of break when he was feeling slightly better, but alas my break has not come. That makes me feel sad and bitter some days, but I remember that I supported others for a reason, because I love deeply and enjoy being that person for others. I can't be that person forever and be happy, but during a dire time of need, I am perfectly okay being that person.

When you can’t discuss your feelings aloud in any way that gets heard, accepted and listened to, you just tend to slip away. You don’t bother discussing anything and you let the body language and difference in ways lead you towards decisions that aren’t 100% comfortable for you. There are changes that keep happening and some I don’t have control over for they are the other person or me just knowing in my soul what the other person would be happier with. I feel like communication has broken down and there’s no way for one person to fix it. 

Sometimes I hate being able to read the energy of others and knowing what’s to come, for it’s nothing you can discuss with someone who doesn’t get it for they will just tell you that you are crazy, insecure or emotional. You see, it is not any of those things. I am not crazy, nor insecure nor emotional, I actually have an innate ability to just know things and with that comes me trying to explain or discuss things with someone who simply doesn’t want to hear it or open their mind to it. These times are hard, but they have been since September so I don’t expect things changing anytime soon. 

Please remember to not be like me, whenever you feel that energy or see the body language of someone you love being different, speak up and speak out. If you cannot speak up or speak out without fear of doors slamming, silent treatment or being yelled at, then you must rethink what you really are doing here in the first place. Perhaps get a counselor, therapists are great at helping to move forward from times like these!