Monday, June 12, 2017

Journal Rambles - This too Shall Pass, Love is not Meant to be a Fleeting Feeling ...

There will be days when you don’t feel loved. There will be days when you feel incredibly loved. I often wonder if on the days you don’t feel loved that you could perhaps reach deep within your memory and find those incredibly loved days. I continue to read The Love Dare at any chance I have, because it truly helps to inspire a love based on commitment rather than a love based on feeling. You see, I am all too familiar with feelings being fleeting in nature. Those days I feel incredibly loved, it’s like I am a teenager again with my hot man beside me and it’s the best feeling ever. The days I don’t have that feeling, I can put myself into a downward spiral, focusing on all the reasons today he doesn’t love me. 

Sometimes it’s great to be with a man who has stated he is committed to our love and future together then other times I miss that fleeting feeling of having fun together and him speaking such kind words both in person and on social media. There was a time, most specifically during the time he was down and out from having a piano fall on him, that he spoke so highly of me on social media. I felt like this man truly loved me, those words stuck with me and made my heart melt. I felt like I finally had relationship where I appreciated someone for his hard work and he appreciated me the same.
I like words, I like to hear that he is shouting to the world that he loves me. It means something. It means more to me than flowers brought home and cards. Yes, I said it, the queen of cards who loves her a great card, enjoys seeing him praise me online more than getting a card. Craziness! 

Reality is life is hard. Emotions play a toll on me right now due to the dang hormones that are out of control some days. I hate that every other moment I feel sad, then happy. I know that the hormones will settle and I will be back to that in loved woman who feels the love and excitement of the relationship I have. This relationship is far from dull and I love it so much but today, for now, I feel sad. Thank goodness for working from home because I can go sleep it off when I am feeling all sad about things. 

I guess the moral of the story is this – when in a relationship that you truly have committed to for the rest of your life, sometimes you won’t feel loved, sometimes the feeling isn’t there in the immediate forefront of your heart, but if you look deep within your soul; you will find that intimate connection that is much stronger than a fleeting feeling and you will get through this by your partner’s side.