Tuesday, April 4, 2017

There Must be Balance

Some people can live their life without much balance. The up and downs, the being pulled in many directions and no routine what so ever. Each of us have our own scenarios that work for us. For me, I need balance. I continuously find myself in situations where I feel like I have to give more than the other person. I give and give until I can’t give any longer. I feel like I work my butt off no matter if I have a partner. It’s this never ending battle of not having a break. While this makes me stronger, it often reminds me of why I do better when being a single mom. This isn’t a mean thing; it’s simply how it goes. 

While it’s easy to get thinking back to the idea that being a single mom is easier because you work your butt off and relationships seem to not alleviate that, it’s not always the way to go. You must be honest with yourself about how you truly feel. Open up and tell them how you envisioned things going, don’t let yourself get consumed by anger. Take time to think about what is working, what isn’t working and how change can happen. Sometimes when you start to feel like this, that being with someone isn’t offsetting any stress it’s simply a matter of adjusting. 

Now it’s best if you can speak to your partner about these feelings in a way that doesn’t lead down the path of arguments. It’s best if you two can talk kindly in a way that’s heard. That’s not always how this works so if you find yourself unable to get through to the other person, take time to get yourself back on track without thinking about the other person. This doesn’t make you a bad person nor does it necessarily mean the relationship is a failure. What this can mean is that you are putting yourself first in a way that’s important for you to get back to feeling less angry. 

Start to work towards a balance, if you still have to work a lot of hours to make ends meet, do it. You would do it anyways, if the relationship isn’t allowing you to feel less stress then just do what you do best. Work for you. Do for you. No, no, no this doesn’t mean that you stay in a relationship where you feel you are pulling more weight for far too long while you work towards something negative. It really just means that you can be in a relationship while working to be whole again. 

Once you have worked to get that balance back both physically and mentally in life, then you can make a good decision based on a clear thinking mindset. Don’t let yourself fade and stress as the result of a situation that isn’t fueling the best in you. Don’t make hasty decisions; try all avenues you can to make change towards balance before making a choice. One cannot make the best decisions when off balance. You can get balance back, you can get your mind back to a place of peace, and you can do so without taking too long if you simply make it a priority. 

Good luck with your work towards getting back, you got this!