Friday, April 28, 2017

4 Negatives You Can Turn into Positives in Your Relationship

There are often times when life gets the best of us and we start to focus on the negative in our world. Relationships are probably the thing that takes the most toll during these trying times. It’s easy to nitpick and poke at what doesn’t work in the relationship. Often times our human brain simply goes that route naturally, it takes work and focus as well as dedication to turn a negative mind into a positive mind. Today I wanted to share a few negatives that one could have in a relationship and counteract that with how you can turn it into a positive. 

Here goes … 4 Negatives You Can Turn into Positives

Negative Thought - “My partner takes weeks to get something done that I asked them to do!”

Positive Switch –Be appreciative that your partner does get that something done. Just because your partner takes longer than you desired, does not mean the scenario was a negative one. There are many couples who have a partner who do nothing, be grateful you have one who does something even if you feel it’s a snail’s speed.

Negative Thought – “My partner gets breaks more often than I do. They get to stay home, tend to the kids and even take naps!”

Positive Switch – Be aware that your partner may actually see your life of getting to go to work and then come home at the end of the day as something better than what they have to do all day. Taking a nap is surely a requirement after the load of stress they dealt with while managing your children and the house. 

Negative Thought – “I hate how my partner yells all of the time. I wish they would be calmer and realize how much the yelling stresses me out!”

Positive Switch – Here’s an idea, maybe your partner doesn’t realize how his/her yelling is impacting you. Try to have a reasonable conversation about the yelling to see if you two can come to a middle ground where patience is worked on. Sometimes our partner doesn’t realize something hurts you until you mention it. They can’t read our minds. 

Negative thought – “My partner is reactive, it just seems like they react to situations rather than thinking ahead to all probably outcomes and prepare. This fuels my anxiety and makes me so tense.”

Positive Switch – This is actually something I am working so here’s what I am attempting to do: does the situation get resolved? Does your partner step up and get things done? If their reactive brain is bothering you but at the end of the day you know they will pull thru, then just trust in that outcome. We can’t change how our partner handles situations but we can control our focus on the end result versus how they got there. 

Truth be told, relationships take work. As I find myself in a relationship that I truly enjoy and want to have forever and ever with, I too find myself in those negative thought patterns. My feelings get hurt and I sit here pissed off about something. It’s not easy to talk when I am pissed off or overtired, the words escape my mouth as some foul, mean and harsh words that I can never take back. 

Each time I spew out words when over tired, hurt or over anxious, I try to do better next time. I wake up with a new day ahead of me and try my hardest to learn how I can be a better person not only for my relationship but for myself. You see, these negative thoughts you catch yourself in will happen in any relationship, all relationships have issues, but if you can learn how to focus on the positive result of the negative thought … you will win the battle and in turn grow to have a thriving, long lasting relationship!