Friday, March 7, 2014

Raising a Child Who is Very Simple

It's funny I spend a lot of time talking, writing and thinking about my seven year old son. I sometimes get frustrated that he is unlike my other two kids, or any other average human being out there in this world. Then, while on the phone or talking out loud about my son, I realize things ...

I'm raising a very simple child.

Now that my seven year old has been off of any medications for nearly two months, I have noticed things about him. I have noticed how my middle child's brain works. I realized that my son isn't as complex as some have said he is. My son is actually quite simple.

I'm raising a child who calls it how he sees it.

My son sees the world in black and white. NO grey areas apply to my son, he cannot comprehend them. The world is this one way and that's it. My son is simple in that 1+1=2. Period. Point blank. End of discussion. If you tell my son he can't do something, that he very clearly is capable of doing, he will reply simply, "yes I can. I just did it." or "yes I can. Watch."

I'm raising a child who thrives on routine and structure.

I see so many parents talk about how they want their children to be on a routine, that this upside down crazy schedule of waking up at odd hours and having different things each day makes for chaos. My son is simple; he likes his structure and routine, and he thrives on it. The same thing for breakfast every single morning. The same after school routine every single day. The same bedtime preparation, every single day. My son is an amazing child when you structure his day to be simple and the same.

I'm raising a child who loves you because you does.

There is no explaining the whys or how comes when it comes to my son Aj. It's pretty simple, you hit him, he hits back. You do this, he does it back. While that isn't always the greatest way to be, that's how he sees life. You give back what you get. You get what you give back. To be Aj's friend, it simply takes you being there for him. Aj is a very matter of fact child, again there is no grey area.

Life for my son is black & white. It's simple.

So why do I struggle sometimes? Well because I was trying to raise a child who sees only black n white ways of the world to see the grey parts. Aj's brain doesn't work like that. You work with Aj, he doesn't mold to work with you. While I realize this can be a challenge in preparing him for the real world, for now it works and if he does end up with an autism diagnosis, well that will  make how his brain works even more clear to me as a parent, thus giving me more tools and resources to work to raise a child who sees the world in black n white.