Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Mama I was Soooo Embarrassed

This whole thing with my middle child not being on medication is a fun ride, seriously. I am enjoying getting to know my son all over again and the person he has become at age 7 is not the one I remember at age 4, but that's to be expected with any child. I love that I am able to work from home and be that person who picks my kids up from school, because it allows my children to vent directly to me upon release from school while their emotions about their day are still fresh in their mind.

Lately, my son Aj has been coming home with various emotional concerns. Sometimes he is super happy because they did something totally awesome or he accomplished something he hadn't accomplished before and he is  beaming with pride. Aj knows and loves that I respond with a proud tone when he has accomplished something that makes him proud. Aj thrives on tones and emotional responses from people; be that positive or negative.  One day a child in music class hit Aj, I had a 7 year old's version of the story so I had to make a couple phone calls to figure out what had happened. Within just a few short moments I had determined what occurred and the next day Aj met with the guidance counselor and the other child who made peace with each other. It was a misunderstanding or accidental scenario that Aj was just sharing with me as he was sad in the moment but he recouped quickly.

I didn't feel Aj was being bullied. I felt that something happened but had to get to the bottom through speaking with the adults involved and it came to be that the other child was simply being a bit exaggerated in their movements during music class which in turn accidentally collided with Aj. No purposeful harm was done. Case closed.

Moving on, another time Aj stated that he was soooo embarrassed because he was grouped with all girls in music class. To a young boy, being grouped with girls is a nightmare. I guess. I had to refrain from giggling because honestly the way Aj explained it was hilarious to me and also hearing Aj say he was embarrassed was new to me. This is a child who in the past has never become embarrassed.

Then we have had the scenario where Aj wanted a specific reading partner, he had asked a few people and those few people said no. Aj is not accommodating to change in most instances, so if he had his heart set on a specific person to be his partner I know him well enough to know that if that didn't happen, he would be sad or frustrated and refuse to work. This happened recently. Aj had asked a few friends if they would be his reading partner and all had said no. There were other people left who didn't have a partner but Aj didn't want to be their partner. So Aj spent the remainder of that reading partner time sulking. This is something new. This is also a life lesson that Aj needs to comprehend, not every child will want to be your partner. Not every friend will want to do something with you. That's okay.

I am having a difficult time teaching my son life lessons because of his different view of life and the world around him. Aj sees black and white; and he isn't very flexible with changes. This means if Aj has his heart set on something being one way and that one way is impossible to have happen that he can break down in sadness or frustration. We are working on ways to handle Aj, for now I am doing the best I can to explain life to him in a way that maybe he can understand.

This  post is brought you by me because I read a post called Is it Bullying that reminded me about these little stories that have happened recently for my son. I think far too may parents want to jump on the anti-bullying train, when in reality some scenarios really are life lessons that kids need to learn. As adults we know not everyone is going to like us, but it's not okay for another adult to harass us or call us names; that is the same simple concept we need to teach our children.