She always felt that being happy was the most important thing in the world because that is really all that matters when it comes down to it. The problem is that she isn't sure if what makes her happy will ultimately make her world spiral downward and although she has faced challenges head on before, she isn't in a position to be ready to face them just yet.
Fear sinks in. Fear of the unknown outcome. Fear of the unknown answer between the fight of the mind and of the heart. Once she followed her gut instincts and it led her to a world of utter happiness but her fear of being alone fed her fuel to make bad choices, leading her back to where she was once before.
The smiles. The happiness within. It all fades slowly when one doesn't follow the path they know is right for them. She knows this. She could advise anyone else on what to do, hell she can even tell herself what to do but something is keeping her from doing it. The fear of everything crashing down is the only answer she can find.
But really, would everything come crashing down if she was at her true level of inner happiness? She thinks not. She thinks that when one is at their peak of true inner happiness anything positive is possible. The power of the mind will set her free and soon she will soar, yes it may be soaring downhill at first, but before she knows it she will be soaring up to the sky beyond limits that she never thought she would reach beyond.