Sunday, August 5, 2012

Ready For My Vacation Time

I spend day after day taking care of everything except myself. Okay so I do workout daily and I have fun taking care of my children but still, it is not normal to be around your children 24/7 and to have your whole life be 100% kids only. I get that works for some people, but it does not work for me.

I have worked so many years to figure out what I need to be happy, to love who I am and to thrive in all that I do. The issue is that I keep freaking going backwards... just once I would like to accept what is true, move with it and go forward for a period of time.

Instead, I worry about the outcome and what will happen when I move forward. When I accept what needs to be accepted. The acceptance of various things within one self that will 100% make life better for the person has lived this before, is still difficult to swallow hard.

Maybe with some time and some communication this decision will come easier, but I don't want easy, I Just want to be happy again. SO sick of doing everything and worrying about everyone else instead of my own self. I guess that is one of my many faults; worrying about others, putting others before myself. It's great for me to do that with my children, but honestly with other people? Who gives a crap .... all that matters is that I can be 100% ME and only then will I be 100% HAPPY and in turn? My children will thrive alongside me!

So when my kids say they want to be adults ... I tell them to enjoy every moment they have in their childhood because being an adult brings on a whole boat load of issues you have to face that no one can face for you nor take the brunt for you either.