Friday, August 31, 2012

I Don't Have all the Answers, but I love You

My oldest comes to me seeking a listening ear but as a Mom I want to help resolve whatever it is she is talking about. I don't know if I am hard wired to try to find a solution or the perfect answer to whatever she has going on, but sometimes all she wants is a listening ear. There is no need to solve everything, children will learn on their own how to deal with various social situations, and I am not the type to want to make life too easy on my kids.

All too often I find myself telling my oldest "I don't have all the answers, but I do love you" and usually this works just fine, however, there are times when that answer simply frustrates her beyond belief. It's as if she truly thinks I can resolve something with the snap of a finger. The issues lately are that of social interactions, you see my daughter is highly advanced intellectually but socially? She is certainly a little nine year old girl with hormonal changes going on and friends moving on without her.

My daughter is at the age where some of her friends are allowed to be on Facebook, allowed to walk around downtown alone, and allowed to be home alone. I don't let my daughter do any of those things, she can have some independence but it's in different ways than what independence means to her friends.

It's tough for me to watch as nine year old girls are so mean to each other, have various cliques and form bonds easily while my daughter is a lot like me, sensitive and wants to please everyone. Thankfully I am starting to outgrow that need to please everyone, but I am 30 years old and just barely accepting of the fact that pleasing everyone is not the way to live life. I hope through example my daughter learns quick than I did to just be who she is and love who she is.

Our book, Positive Girl - the Power of Your Thoughts, should be something I have her reading daily because I think our positive thoughts have slipped away. We used to spend quality time together with positive thoughts and conversations but now she isn't taking to them as often. Here's to me learning how to handle the tween girl years before the years slip through my fingers.