Saturday, June 23, 2012

The True Feeling of Confidence

I have been venturing outside of the house more often lately and seeing what's around the local area. I have this clear mind about being more involved in the community and attending family friendly type events. I also am more comfortable socializing with random people around here, more so than I have been in the past. This is of course a wonderful feeling.

The other day I saw this gorgeous girl, she was tan, make up on, not too skinny and not too large, hair straightened .. she was just simply beautiful. In the past I have been able to admire other beautiful people, whether male or female, as I do enjoy people watching. The thing that occurred to me on this particular day was that I no longer found myself feeling unworthy of my appearance. No matter how confident I have become in comparison to my younger years, I still struggle with weight gain and keeping up with good eating habits, so that means sometimes I struggle to truly 100% love my whole body with and without clothes on.

This day, I realized that this other woman was beautiful but she was beautiful in her own way. I would never be that way, the straightened hair every day, the make up and the figure for I am not that person. I was not born with their genes and I don't want to be a clone of someone else's body structure; I want to be me. I look a lot like my family, we have big hips, small legs and a mid section that most would probably love to have disappear. I am top heavy, which does not run fully through my family but does with some relatives.

I have curves, and I have beautiful eyes and a wonderful smile that is contagious! I am happy and I love me, but to truly remind myself that I do love who I am I had to see this woman, so beautiful and tan, to realize that I don't want to be her, I want to be ME. I love my body and am thankful to realize with 100% confidence that I am not envious of a smaller than me body, better than me tan, for no one else can make me feel less worthy unless I allow myself to have those feelings. I refuse to feel inadequate any longer when around people who I feel are much more beautiful than me. I don't even have to second guess it, remind myself or anything; I simply know that I am and feel more confident and happy with my body structure. I love me without any doubts and because of this new found realization after a somewhat trying Winter time, I am standing taller and smiling more again.

So remember, whether you are like me and people watch just to find that you feel, even if only for a moment, that another person is more beautiful than you; that you are not to think that way. You are unique, you are beautiful in your own special way and that is what makes the world an awesome place to live in, that we can all appreciate each others uniqueness!