Tuesday, January 17, 2012

What's Your Defense Mechanism?

I was thinking the other day about how fast I talk, it's usually about how fast I type which is around 110 words per minute. My mind just moves at this rate and it's natural for me, always has been. I have been taking some time to figure out things about myself and realize things I need to slow down on or change or just work on making better. I also focused on things I love about myself of course, but this is a post about human defense mechanisms.

I think we all have that defense mechanism, meaning something we do when we feel threatened in some way. The threat doesn't have to be a physical threat, verbal and non-verbal threats alike can put us into defense mode.  For me, I get super defensive when someone puts me down as a parent. The reason is, out of everything I have screwed up in my life from getting a DWI at age 18 to quitting my awesome office job in high school, to hanging with the wrong crowd and getting into drinking alcohol too much, parenting is one thing I haven't seemed to screw up. I am proud to be a parent and I personally feel I am doing a fantastic job. I have given up a lot to raise my children but I have gained so much in return that when someone wants to say something negative about me as a mother or about my children I get majorly defensive. I call it Mama Bear coming out to play.

My defense mechanism is something I just realized that I do, and I am going to share it with you all..... when I feel threatened, annoyed by a conversation or just plain out disagree with what someone is saying to me I...

start talking really super duper fast and over them, I may even change the subject, but the key is that I talk so fast this person can not even get themselves back on track because I talk as if I have an unlimited supply of oxygen and I do not stop til I feel calmed again.

I believe I have always done this but I do it more so now because I get into this moods when someone upsets me to my core that I honestly do not give a shit about them in that moment. I ony care about one thing & that is to get out of the conversation as fast as possible or to make them feel the way they just made me feel as fast as possible. I am working on this because it is rude, but it's part of me.

What is your defense mechanism?