Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Running in Circles

That is how it feels most days. I have two kids to bring to school every day of the week, except my oldest who is brought by her father two days a week. Then I rush home grab my coffee and hop into the office to work til about 12:30pm. Then I have the afternoon with my youngest to spend running off his energy {and mine}. Then off to get kids from school and three days a week is soccer with one other day cheerleading. It seems I am running around like my head is cut off four days a week.

Finally Friday comes and no sports but of course there's school and it's Friday "Mom" so oldest wants to stay up and hang with me, I want to work but I want the time with her too. She goes to her Dad's every other weekend so the weekends she is home are important to me.

I love it so much when my daughter's father laughs out loud at me about my memory failing me and how overwhelmed I get. I mean seriously, he has ONE child and she is like the eeasiets child in the world so how can he LOL at me? I would love to see him live in my shoes for a few weeks non stop boys and dealing with AJ's aggression some days. It's no piece of pie I tell ya.

I am not complaingin by any means, I do realize one day I will miss this hectic life and not know what to do with my free time but some where, some time soon I need to realize that I am just as important as my children and get away some how for a night off. I really feel myself sinking deeper and deeper into this state of mind that makes my life feel like I am drifting along with no real emotion or anything in life. That isn't healthy and it's damn right scary to me.

So ... as October 28th nears and I realize I will be 30 only once in my life, I plan to get away. Maybe rent a hotel room or something even if I am all alone just so I can have some peace and quiet for my birthday.