Friday, October 21, 2011

First Born: Random Thoughts About Parenting

Being the first born child had always brought on, what I felt to be, more responsibilities.  As I grew into a rebellious teen who still focused on studies and got good grades, I realized that I was simply expected to do these things. I was the first born, the leader, someone who succeeds no matter what. The average leadership position is usually held by the first born child, I wish I could remember where I found this out but I swear I did learn this when I was part of Future Business Leaders of America (FBLA) in school.

I always had a love for working, making money and knew that I wanted to move out of my mom's house as soon as possible which ended up being my senior year. I was 17 years old when I first moved out of my mother's house, although I say first because there were times I went back for a few months to pay low rent in order to get back on my feet & find another rental location when life went off path.

I recall once I started working that it was something that was expected of me, I was expected to always have a job and was simply expected to be among the best. Should I have failed a course I would have received major attention in my household but since I didn't it seemed my success was often overlooked, at least that is my perspective.

As I grew older and became a mother I realized just how it is to be the oldest child, granted I had one younger sister and my daughter has two younger brothers, one of which has a mood disorder situation going on, but still, I can see how I hold my first born to a higher standard more often than not. I am working on this because I don't think it's okay to let her success be overlooked, remember I was that child who felt overlooked due to her success in school smarts & general ability to adapt to almost any situation.  I often give praise to my daughter for her wonderful work in school and how well she does at home or maybe if she masters something new, she knows Mama will be right there to praise her efforts and/or success.

It's so hard to be a parent, granted I have two young boys still and one daughter but I wonder some days where I gained my patience and how it takes me months to get to my "need a break" moment whereas it takes others only a day to deal with the kids full time to want to run away. Whatever the reason is, I am simply happy that I was born with this patience I have because without it I don't know how I would get through a day let alone weeks as a full time Mom and virtual business owner.