Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Walking Zombie or Daydreaming

My life is so chaotic lately that I feel as if I am walking like a zombie. Maybe my day isn't really happening, I feel as if it's a daydream. You know that dream that occurs over and over and you can't seem to get rid of it. I would rather call it a dream because it's motherhood but sometimes I feel as if it's close to a nightmare. Between the sleepless nights and the constant 100mph running of my two sons I can't determine if this is real or fantasy some days.

I truly never thought raising kids would become such a battle. I never thought working from home would mean I would be doing a balance act every single day of my life. I feel as if I slept walked through most of my sons lives because it has been so hectic. A divorce, a few moves, everything is almost subliminal to me at times.

I sometimes wish I had a stronger person than me around to pick me up during those weak moments so that I no longer feel like a walking zombie, unable to feel emotions, unable to smile and unable to remember a simple memory such as what I had for breakfast that morning.

This Fall I will have two kids in school and only one home with me, I am hoping this will help slow me down a bit so that I can focus on catching up on sleep and work.