Monday, April 11, 2011

Was it Postpartum Depression?

When I first became a mother I was in awe over her sweetness, she was such a good baby and now even at age eight I just have one thing to complain about: female drama. Overall my daughter has been the easy child, she was that child that made everyone want to have a ton of kids, myself included. Then I became a mother, unplanned, to a little boy. This little boy never slept through the night, he breastfed so often that I ended up quitting and switching to formula at eight weeks instead of 9 months like I did with my daughter or 11 months like I did with my last born son.

I was thinking the other day about my two sons versus my daughter and comparing all three children. I am thinking that after my second child, and first born son was born, that I suffered from postpartum depression at a really bad level. You see I had little interest in being a Mom again, I was happy with my little world being a single, out of home working mother of one. I had accepted I wouldn't be a stay at home mom, I had accepted and grown to love my simple life. I loved having every other weekend to myself, I enjoyed having one well behaved child in tow but then along came the second pregnancy and my world was different, my mood was different.

I had spoke to my OBGYN at the time about my concerns of depression, something I had battled all of my life combined with anxiety. My OBGYN never seemed to consider I had a problem so I was set off to face the situation all by myself, well take that back, my husband had to deal with it and my daughter as well as my newborn son. I was in a bad place, my mind was horrible, I was mean and just didn't care about a thing. I didn't work, had to go on state assistance, I couldn't move. I just did not care about a thing back then.

Looking back on how I was, I can not believe it. Who was that person and the only thing that comes to mind is that maybe, just maybe I suffered from postpartum depression at a dangerous level and no physician would diagnose or listen to me. I was left, yet again, to fend for myself, to get myself to move forward in a positive direction.

I did it though, I moved forward, and I became who I am today. A wonderful work at home mother of three who does what every other parent in this world does; parents to the best of their abilities.

Did you suffer from major postpartum depression? Did your doctor listen to you?