Saturday, February 26, 2011

Looking At My Children Playing Outside

I was going through my laptop and found this in an old Word document, I never placed it on either of my blogs and so here it is .... some thoughts I had one day a while back while I sat watching my children play ....

Looking out into the backyard watching as my children play, laugh, smile, yell and argue all at once reminds me that life is much like that. Life is what you make it I always say and when parents are at their best is when you see the best of life. When you are down and questioning the life you are living to be right for you is when you start to lose focus and your energy diminishes. Losing your positive energy can consume your mind, your soul and make you do things you normally would not do. Maybe you wish to sleep all day long so as to avoid life in general. The things you loved and yearned for are no longer important.

I see in my children what having a parent lose positive energy do. Take AJ for example, he is such a wonderful boy when Mommy is at his best. If Mommy is having a bad day so is AJ as well as the other children in the home and anyone who ends up in the presence of me during that bad time. It’s not that I am perfect, I am far from it. Heck I made some decisions that were totally awesome, made my life amazing. Then I woke up one day, feeling off about my world and the decisions I had made. I questioned if I had made a decision to soon and didn’t allow time to pass, communication to rise and truly work hard at a situation before I ran away from you.

As positive as I am, as outgoing as I am when life is a mess at my home I find myself down and out. I listen as my friends inform me that they are worried, wondering what is going on with me. My friends can see what I feel inside, we are that close. Even the people in my home can’t really see inside of me. I think it’s the virtual friendships that make two people so close that they can see inside the soul of the other person.
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