Sunday, January 4, 2009

Relationships Take Work & Trust

Relationships are very complicated. Many people think that a relationship is easy to do, you fall in love, you get married, you move in together and life is happily ever after. {I blame those princess story tales} What does not get shown in any story book for children is that life is not simple nor is it always happily ever after. Can not blame children story writers, who would read children stories if they were discouraging?

I have been through many relationships and finally found my soul mate who I have been married to for 2 years. After many ups and downs I was able to figure out that a relationship takes work AND trust. My husband has lied to me in the past when we first started dating about silly things. How did I handle it? I took the time to truly hear his side of the story, I tried my best to understand his point of view. I did not agree with him lying to me, but I could at least understand why he felt he should. I forgave him and we moved on. I believe that if you truly are in love you can forgive but not forget. Basically when a loved one lies to you, it breaks your heart and sometimes you want to get revenge. That is not a good idea. If you and your loved one truly are in love and want to move forward, YOU CAN. It takes time and it takes true listening skills to get beyond a hurtful situation.

There are days where I recall what he was capable of doing; lying right to my face, and I get to thinking "what if he is lying to me now"...it's what we do with those questionable thoughts that builds our relationship or destroys it. I choose to remove that negative thought from my mind and trust in our marriage. What we have together is much stronger than what we had at only a few months of dating.

Making your relationship last long term will take commitment, trust, and truly believing in your relationship. You may not always have the same opinion as your spouse, you may not understand why he or she does the crazy things they do, but if you open up communication about these situations you can understand why he or she does those things. If you express why it is you dislike something they have done, then they will be made aware of it. Men and woman do not see things the same way, we have two completely different ways of looking at the world. {thanks to my husband for allowing me to see this fact}

When you marry a person you are committing to be with them for better or for worse, through good times and bad times. Remember those vows you took, and try to stay true to them. If you really loved the person you married, make sure to be by their side when the bad times hit. Everyone makes mistakes, we are human not robots, but it's what we learn from these mistakes that makes us a stronger person. If you and your spouse can learn from past mistakes then you have a great chance of having a long successful marriage.

Remember to communicate openly, be a good listener, remain open minded and trust in your instincts and you will succeed at having a long term relationship.