Monday, January 12, 2009

Choosing Marriage

Getting married is a chore in itself, now picking the right person to be married to is a completely different topic. I was engaged two times but never married before my husband. Why was I engaged two times? Well apparently I just have to say yes when someone says, "will you marry me". Childish and immature - yes. Stupid mistake - no.

Why do I feel it's not a stupid mistake that I was engaged two times before my husband? Because I did NOT get married, it was like a part of me just knew that the two who had proposed to me were not going to be my life partner. You see, even though I was engaged two times, I was not ready to marry them for many years, if ever. Thank goodness I did not marry them, because I am now married to a wonderful man who I sincerely feel is my soul mate.

Not everyone will find their perfect mate, not everyone will even get married. Now adays many people are just fine with living together forever without having taken any vows and that is great, I applaud you, but I knew I wanted to be married some day.

Taking the leap into marrying someone is a big step, and should not be taken lightly. I can not tell you that you should be with someone for a certain period of time before marrying them, I don't think there is any magic number. My aunt and uncle were only together a few months and going on 20 something years now being married. My husband and I married on our 11 month anniversary of dating and we will be celebrating two years together this year. We have had two boys in the past few years together yet our marriage is still stronger than ever.

It takes work to keep a marriage strong. I recommend that you look at the person you are thinking about marrying and ask yourself:

  1. Will I be able to communicate with this person daily?
  2. Will this person listen to me when I have a concern?
  3. Will this person be able to compromise to meet both our needs?
If you answered NO to these questions then you may wish to rethink marriage until you know the above questions will be a YES. Now this does not mean the person you are thinking about marrying is not right for you; sometimes two people who do nothing but argue seem to last a lifetime together, but that is not how I wish to live nor would it work for me or my children.

The only person who can truly make the decision to get married is YOU and YOUR PARTNER. I believe opposites attract and compliment each other. For instance my husband is a quiet, laid back person. I am a more outgoing, talkative, easily bothered person. When you put both of us together in a household, our differences compliment each other. I have made him a bit more outgoing and he has made me a bit more laid back. Our differences become similarities the longer we are together and it's wonderful.

If you are thinking about getting married please think hard about it, and make sure your partner is truly who you wish to spend the rest of your life with. There is always divorce but in my opinion divorce is just a fancy term for "giving up". Many times people are in dangerous marriages and NEED to get a divorce; so I am not against using divorce as a means to get safe, I just feel too many people jump in and out of marriages without thinking first.

How long did you wait before you got married? How long have you been married? Why did you marry the person you chose to?

Wishing you a successful marriage and many happy memories!