Monday, December 29, 2008

Co Parenting - A Common Situation

Co-Parenting is a friendly term that basically means there are two parents who are no longer in a committed relationship with each other but wish to take part in raising their child in a positive way.

I have been on both sides of this situation. I am a daughter of divorced parents and a mother to a bright little girl who resides in my home but visits her father often.

I am a firm believer that a child needs to come first no matter what. There are certain circumstances in which a child can not see the non-custodial parent, and those situations do not apply to this blog post. This blog post only pertains to those parents who are no longer in a committed relationship with each other but share some sort of visitation with their child or children.

It is very important that your child never feels it is his or her fault that their parents are no longer together. The child needs to know that both parents love that child very much.

The best way to co-parent is to take a child impact seminar (if offered in your state) or to take some parenting classes. Talk to others who share custody of a child to see what works best for them, how do they get past their personal issues with the other parent in order to create a positive, loving environment for their child?

From my own personal experience, I was cheated on by my ex, but we also did not get along very well. We had a horrible two years together and half that time I was pregnant so it was even worse. Side note: A pregnant woman = a very emotional, hormonal woman!

I am not going to say it is easy to get along with my ex, we try to remain friends but have many opposing views on child support, visitation schedule, oh and the list can go on from there. Rather than focusing on what we don't agree on, we focus on what it is we DO agree on; creating a positive, loving environment for our daughter to grow up in. We both wish that our daughter has a chance at being a child, a chance to grow up in a happy, loving and secure home. By focusing on what we do agree on, we can move forward in raising our daughter with few issues.

There are days where issues arise and we deal with them. I have learned to be positive and outgoing, which really helps in situations such as a co-parenting situation. Not everyone's situation is the same, however, if you go into co-parenting with a positive attitude, focus on what you do agree on, and move forward you can succeed in providing your child with a loving environment to grow up that will not create tension for your child.

I am sure we all believe a child deserves the right to be a child, right?! Well then, start focusing on what it is you BOTH want for your child and work towards that. By focusing on positive rather than negative anything can happen!

Signing off,
Brandy Tanner